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PARENTING TIPS
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Keys to Successful Parenting
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It is essential for parents to monitor the behavior of the child, understand his
unique needs and come up with solutions to the problems he faces.It is important
that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our
children internally. Bringing up a child is a challenging job, one that has
tremendous responsibilities. It is a complex task and a lot of patience and
understanding is required to give a good upbringing to the child.
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Use Genuine Encounter Moments
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Child's self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend
with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are
often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100%
focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen
or ignore our child's attempts to communicate with us. If we don't give our
child Genuine Encounter Moments throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative
attention in a child's mind is better than being ignored. It is best at these
times just to validate her feelings by saying, "Yeah, I bet it does feel like a
long time since we spent time together."
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Use Action, Not Words
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Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No
wonder our children become "parent deaf!" Instead of nagging or yelling, ask
yourself, "What action could I take?" For example, if you have nagged your child
about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are
unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.
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Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful
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If you don't, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to
help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices,
let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help
you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put
silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less
hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.
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Use Natural Consequences |
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Ask yourself what would happen if I didn't interfere in this situation? If we
interfere when we don't need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the
consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we
avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For
example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don't bring it to her. Allow her
to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.
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Use Logical Consequences |
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Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural
consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you
ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your
child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount
from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can
see the logic to your discipline.
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